jake [18 Sep 2004|09:59pm] woo hoo im on crack did u no that becasue i bust a ryme like jb fat while im sittin in the back of a pimp cadilac around my waist is a strap adn i no how to act so y dont u just step back cause i just struck back...... biatch 1 comment|post comment

asdf [03 Sep 2004|10:28pm] nothing special besides highschools happened to me recently but... i can say one thing... JENNN JENNN JENNN! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU SO WE CAN HAVE WILD MONKEY SEX!!!!! i mean... er...  sophisticated conversations... 1 comment|post comment

Jen is a hot mama [23 Aug 2004|06:49pm] [ mood | horny ] Jen is pure sex. When I see Jen I'm going to bang her all night. But right before I bang her I'm going to give her the sexiest strip tease ever. teehee -GUESS WHO ALEX!!! *evil grin* *walks away casually* post comment

hmmm... [22 Aug 2004|11:24am] woo sorry i haven't been updating. life is peachy. nothing to talk about lol... uhhhh.... I like toe fungus. post comment

Life. wheeee! [07 Aug 2004|08:53am] [ mood | bitchy ] Well, last night wasn't bad, had a friend over. sadly he was kind of obsessed with those scary movies where the faces pop out at you and scream. god, i swear, i heard his wrist pop when i screwed it off. anyways, it was a long night, we swapped manly stories, blah blah, he wouldn't stop talking about jessica simpson. and then when i told him i found her completely unnarousing, he couldn't get over the fact that i MUST be gay or weird or something. I just told him the truth, that i find feeling better than seeing. i would rather kiss a butt ugly girl, than have pamela anderson, or jessica simpson, or whatever, strip right in my face. oh well. he doesn't like korn... i have to kill him. he doesn't like ICP either, so... i guess it's gonna be slow... poor kid. 1 comment|post comment

I know it's my fault and i deserve it.... but... [05 Aug 2004|12:10pm] gah, nevermind. I don't even want to talk about it. post comment

*mumble* [05 Aug 2004|09:19am] [ mood | sleepy ] had another dream... didn't sleep a wink. This time it was really weird though, not like the one with my grandpa and the screaming... but just a nightmare. I usually remember my dreams, so, i guess i'm gonna try my best to fill you in on it. I was in the back of a car, going down a road late at night. The driver, whoever he was, said it was a long day, and i could sleep on the way back. I woke up to him shaking me and saying, hey bud, you're home. I thanked him for the ride, and i walked over to my house. All the lights were off, and there were cars in the driveway, made sense, it was nighttime and everyone was probably sleeping. I walked in, put my bag on the table, and thought for a little while. then i walked down to my room, opened the door, and flicked on the light. It wasn't the room i remembered. it had the same design, but, none of my stuff was there, and it was all rearranged. 'oh well' i thought, probably my mom again. i shut off the light, turned around, and walked over to the closet where i keep my weights. I opened the door, and there was some coats, a vacuum cleaner, and a lunchbox. I had never seen any of this stuff before in my life. I figured i'd look at the lunch box, and see who's shit this all was. the lunchbox said, Renee Bessette. I had never heard that name before. I guess a new nephew i missed while i was gone. God how life changes so fast. I couldn't find my weights anywheres. After i looked, and got all depressed about my room, i decided i was tired. so i went back to my room, sat down on the edge of my bed. popped in, and curled up under my blankets. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep, which is strange for me. everything was strange. I woke up, still in a dark room, and i realized someone was staring at me. I said, 'Hey mom.' but soon after i realized that wasn't the case. whoever was looking at me was in the bed with me. Then a bright light shined in my eyes, and i squinted. i looked up at the person shining it in my eyes, and it was a girl, about my age... everything came together. my stepfather and my mom finally had a kid. 'Renee.' i said with a kind of loathesome voice. 'So, you're my sister huh?' she looked at me strangely. I asked her if she knew a guy named Bob Trumper. she shook her head. so i asked what her dad's name was... she told me, his name, was Alex Bessette. whoa. woke up right there. well, at least i know someday i'll have a kid. and she was beautiful, so i was obviously going to have grandkids too. haha, my dreams coming together in a nightmare. sounds like me. oh well. Until later, Alex Bessette. post comment

I think this is when Scooby would say 'Rut Roh!' [05 Aug 2004|06:46am] [ mood | crushed ] Shit. I don't know what just happened, but it couldn't have been good. erg, if there's one thing i hate, it's when i don't know what's going on. if there's two, it's not knowing and being helpless. and if there's three, well, i hate not knowing, being helpless, and being worried. (i'm always worried about SOMETHING). I have to go to a doc appointment in a couple of hours, i hope jenn gets back on. i don't know what's up, but she was stressed. Ahhhh... i don't know what to do. I've got all three of my hates working against me on this one. She didn't tell me what she was doing. EEEEK!!! *starts stabbing self repeatedly with broken bottle* Laterdays. Alex Song- Until the day I die. Quote- 'BOB! YOU STUPID FUCK! YOU FLOODED THE BASEMENT, AGAIN! GOD DAMN YOU!!! I HAVE TO GET A NEW CARPET AGAIN!' post comment

[04 Aug 2004|05:52pm] WOOOOO!!! AUBREY BACK!!! WAHHHHH!!! JENNS GONE!!! WEHHHHH!!! DONT ASK!!! lmao, oh well. New days new things, nothing new really. Aubrey's fine. (Thank the lord and his very wholesome wholeness.) Jenn went to pocono, and then she comes back for two days. sdlfjk;asjgkasdgjs;gjsgk;sdjg I guess now would be a great time to say who i am. I am alex bessette, my only dream is to get back into shape, and become an author. Don't be fooled by my caring, trusting, happy, loving personality. it gets me in so much trouble, i swear. Nikki says it's a 'Beautiful thing' and that's why she wont stop loving me. oh well, as long as she finds someone else she can be hapy with, i don't care if she's my friend or not. but anyways, i'm 5' 10", and i have a 2 foot shoulder span. man i'm big lmao. DONT FALL IN LOVE WITH ME! I CANT HELP BUT LOVE YOU BACK! -it's got me in enough trouble already- But you two know that, right jenn? right aubrey? oh whatever. Fuck you all. ---- Alex post comment

[04 Aug 2004|07:14am] Well, things are kinda getting better. I'm almost over my incredible phobia of phones! THANK YOU AUBREY AND HANNAH!!! man, though i swear, don't you think you're getting a little possessive of me??? i mean... i'll say something like ok, gotta go... and they'll come up saying no you don't. yes i do! NO! YES!!! too bad. i'll hate you. shit, alright i'm stayin. lmao anyways, i think i might give nikki a ring if i can, i'm not sure though. i'm still pretty bad at this. i'll probably just hold my phone for a few minutes before i call. i'm no pansy, i'll get over it. JENN'S LEAVING FOR 2 WEEKS!!! *dies miserably and slowly* gonna miss her. remember jennyfar, snuggles & huggles! see yah homeslice. oh well, that's about it. still haven't heard from aubrey... i'm afraid to turn on the news or read the obituaries... o_o 1 comment|post comment

[03 Aug 2004|06:08pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | Insane Clown Posse - Crossing Thy Bridge ] Life is... Well, not great. It's horrible. I don't know what happened to jenn. she said something about nott being good enough, and goddamn she is. she's the best i could have. but i guess me talking about aubrey so much... it really got her pissed. If you get on jenn, i love you. come back, i miss you. i need you back. please??? Then, there's nikki, and she hasn't gotten on since last night, and that worries me too. i don't get it. why do i worry? she's probably fine. but something tells me... it isn't. then we have Aubrey, of course. I don't know where she went. i hope she comes back soon. i need a friend right now, and aubrey's the only one close enough to give me a hug. kkgja;lksjdgasgiojagja;skjga;lksjdg;ljkasl;dgja;lsdkgjas'ldkgjas'dgkjasdgkjasdgkalfdskg i have no one now... save me... save me please... other than that life is just FUCKING DANDY! oh yay. --- Alex post comment

I don't know what's happening to me. [03 Aug 2004|09:29am] [ mood | scared ] Last night was the scariest night of my life. I have no idea what was going on, but i was scared shitless. Here i'll tell you what happened. I went to go make sure dad was alright before i went to bed, and he was fine. He was breathing normal, which hasn't happened in a couple of days. so, i tucked him in the rest of the way, and i went to go to bed. I had the scariest dream i have ever had in my entire life. I was in this house, and it was dimly lit. I could hear something, I didn't know what it was, but it reminded me of sobbing. so i started to look around the house to see where it was coming from. i walked into this room, and there was a little girl in the corner, crying and holding a doll. The girl had black hair, and she was a little kid. Then, she looked up at me, and everything else went black. Then my grandpa appeared, and he was laughing, and i was so confused. He died of cancer a year ago. then my dad appeared, back when he was paralyzed, and he was screaming, and through the whole thing, i could still hear the little girl sobbing. I woke up right then and there, but whenever i closed my eyes, i could hear the laughing, the crying, and the screaming. I needed someone to talk to. i was so cold, and it felt like something was under my skin, and i was so scared. the laughing, and the crying, and the screaming.... were just too much. I turned on all the lights and started the computer. Then i talked to the only person i knew i could. Nikki. They were still screaming and laughing and crying, and it was really hard to keep things straight. i kept banging on the keyboard because it felt like someone was watching me and finding it extremely funny. Then the worst part, i was telling nikki what happened, and she told me she thought i killed her, because she had black hair and a dolly, and she did cry herself to sleep alot. then i heard someone in the house. i knew it wasn't dad, because he was sleeping, and he would be for some time. the meds say so. but whoever it was, i could feel footsteps, and then the fridge opened, and then it closed, and i heard a bottle of beer being opened. my god i was so scared. i took my knife out of it's sheath, and peeked into the living room, and the screaming, and crying, and the laughing was getting worse. but then i saw the recliner. there was a steaming bottle of cold beer on the coffee table, and the recliner was rocking, but no one was in it. then the laughing stopped, and i could just hear the scary sounds. the rocking of the recliner, the screaming of my dad, and the crying of the little girl. Nikki told me it was a dream thing, that in order to stop it, i had to go back to sleep. she asked me to give the little girl a hug for her, and not to turn away. I told her i would try, but i was scared, nothing like this has ever happened to me before. then i told her i didn't know how i was going to sleep, because whatever was drinking the beer, and rocking the chair, scared the shit out of me. so i couldn't get on the couch. so i told her i was going to sleep in here, and she told me to wait a minute, because a little while back, she was learning about some witchcraft or paganism or something like that, and she could banish the spirits, i didn't want to believe her, but at the time, anything was good. so she left, and i was stuck here with the sobbing, the rocking, the screaming, all by myself. so i went and hid in a corner, and watched the rooms door. and the screams and the sobs and the rocking, started getting louder, and louder, and louder. i thought for sure i was going to die. i got really cold all of a sudden, and when nikki got back, she told me it was going to be all right, and that she asked the pagan mister and mistress to take the spirits away. it worked, they all left. no more screaming or rocking or sobbing,  the beer was gone, the lights were back, and i told her to tell whoever those pagan people are, tell them i love em. she told we she would, and that i should try to get over that dream and go to bed, so i said g'night, and went to sleep. This is the weird part. I had the same dream again, up to the screaming part. i was in a house, and it was dimly lit, and i could hear sobbing. i went into the room i knew she was in, crouched down next to her, and told her everything was going to be alright, she looked up at me, and i gave her the most secure hug i could give, she smiled, and then dissappeared, and weird shit started to happen, like short stories. i was in this house, in the corner and i had a doll, and there were people screaming. -flash- i had a razor, and i was drawing things on my wrist, and i was... somewhat calm. -flash- i felt the deepest sadness anyone could ever ever feel. -flash- and i was back to where the little girl was. she told me it was going to be alright, and she gave me a hug... and my grandpa, and my dad appeared, and they were glowing with a little warm golden glow, and the little girl started to glow too, and she walked over between my dad and grandpa, and they all smiled. and i woke up. god help me. post comment

Heh, can anyone say, 'All work and more play'? hehehe. [02 Aug 2004|02:03am] [ mood | stressed ] Well, stuff's going on like crazy to me this weekend. Well, to start, i lost a couple friends, and i don't know why. Apparently, they think i was hitting on them, and insulting them or something. but what matters, is that i ahven't talked to them in like, a day, and it's driving me insane. Then there's one of my other friends, who was one of the people i went to when i was sad. she always could make me smile, no matter what. not to pin it on him or anything, but her boyfriend was kind of glum, saying things like, oh i doubt she loves me, she'd never do this for me, blah blah blah, so i told him about something, that i didn't think she'd mind, but, i guess she did. so now when i'm sad, i just have to deal with it. if i kinda get pissy, that's probably why. Then, I got knighted or something today, and i'm now a juggalo! so come to me if you got any questions about ICP. I got a couple things about the carnival to learn up on, but then, i'll be a full member. Pray for me, and bust me up some clown hatas! MMFCL~ to all my klown homies. Then there's me jennyfer. i love her, but she's so far away... i just don't know, you know? no you probably don't, dumbasses. but then back at home, in VT, i got Aubrey, and Nikki to take care of. haha I really love aubrey, she's like my twin, she's got alot going on right now, so i'm just gonna try my best to keep her happy. When i say she's my twin, i mean it. She's tall, she's smart, strong, self-sufficient, we like exactly the same music, we like the same stuff, we even get the same notes on out report cards, and that really makes me giggle. Then there's Nikki, who really needs a friend. she's a nice girl and all, but she's just really depressed right now, i'm trying my best to help her, but i think i'm hurting more than i am helping her. i don't know, i can't just leave her be, i'd feel so bad, because all of her pain and stuff comes from me anyways. Then Jennifer, she lives in philly, and she's sweet, and kind, she's really sensual and likes to jump right into things. i like to talk to her, because she always sunderstands, and is really supportive. but lord, I only really have one dream. i want to give all three of them, Aubrey, Jenny, and Nikki, a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, and someone they can trust. well, i do have another dream, but i really don't think i'll live long enough to be a grandfather. Oh well. and besides, if i had to choose Aubrey or Jenn? i would rip and tear myself to pieces. I need a break. Bad. And on top of that, i have to try to stay in shape. I'm 210, aiming for 257, which is exactly how much i'd weight if all my fat were muscle. I think i hit 218, so i'm getting closer. I'll keep you updated. My birthday was a couple weeks ago, i'm 14 now, and proud to say, i'm 5' 10" so, when highschool starts, *cracks knuckles* no senior's gonna try to stuff ME in a bucket. hahaha, I think i might make one of those double signs for the first day, the front will say, 'STEP RIGHT UP, TRY YOUR SKILL AND GET A PRIZE!' and on the back, 'THAT'S RIGHT KIDS, CONCUSSIONS FOR EVERYONE WHO CAN PISS ME OFF!' Me: ... I fucked up again. Me: Why can't life have a reset button? Joe: Pfft, that's why life would make one suck-ass game. Well, I'm out for today. Alex. - RANDOM QUOTE - "We must be very thankful for those who are small, weak, prideful, and annoying. I mean, who woulda thought of inventing pancakes if they didn't have to scrape them off the side walks?" -Tim. Song Playing - The Wraith - Crossing Thy Bridge.

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